Maybe It's A Female Thing

I recently saw a reflection of myself in a mirror in, of all places, Walmart.  I was appalled, shocked, horrified.  I recognize that I have a 2 month old baby and weight loss should be a slow, measured process.  That is best for both mother and baby.  However, I had no idea how I LOOKED.  Yikes.  Of course, that was a girdle free day, but still.  I was a little sad for the rest of the day because I know that I have been struggling with healthy eating and massive junk consumption.  So I shared my disgust with my appearance with my husband.  I absolutely love him.  He excused it by reminding me that most mirrors make you look bigger than you are.

Not what I wanted to hear.  That's why I say it might be a female thing.  Or maybe, it's a me thing.

I wanted him to encourage me and offer to help me remain accountable.  I wanted to know that he would support me more in my desire to eat meat free.  I wanted to have him offer for us to walk together.  Something other than an excuse.  I don't want to look at my weight (which is 20 lbs more than when I first got pregnant and almost 40 lbs more than what is healthy for my height) and my reflection and make excuses.  I want to take action.  I want to put my foot down and say no more extravagance.  I want a team effort.

Either way, I set in my heart to strive for no meat for at least 30 days.  That will help me break the addiction.  I tend to resent meat because it causes me to crave salt and then I eat all manner of junk.  That junk leads to more junk and I end up gaining more weight.  That is apart from all of the ethical reasons to avoid meat.  Don't get me started on what I call "Dairy Guilt."  Nursing mothers should consider how they'd feel if someone took their baby but insisted on them pumping for someone else.  Another conversation for another day.  I would, at least, like a healthy self image.  I would like to be comfortable in my skin.  I don't mind when I'm just a bit overweight, but when you don't recognize yourself, that's hard.  It says more than just "I'm overweight."  It says that I'm unhealthy.  It means that my organs are working harder than they should.  It means that my digestion isn't what it should be.  It means that my stomach is stretched larger than it should be as an organ.  I have let myself go and it has everything to do with laziness.  For me, it is a health report and a wake up call.  I'm not getting any younger, so the longer I wait, the harder it will be.

In other news, my tomatoes have blossom rot.  I just learned what that was.  They have rotted bottoms as they grow and I've been very discouraged about that.  But I'm a woman of action, so I searched it on Google.  If this is happening to your garden, check out The Rusted Garden over on YouTube.  Great info that I plan to put into practice myself.  I need to save my tomato crop asap.  Apparently, it's a lack of calcium.  Hope that info helps someone.

I'll keep you up to date on how my 30 days meat free is going.  Yesterday was good.  We had tons of leftover meatless chili.  I have Cascadian Farms granola and cashew milk for breakfast with blueberries.  Though I believe in avoiding most soy, I may invest in some tofu just so I can have some quick source of complex protein.  We'll see.

Remember that being overweight is not a judgement on your character or who you are.  It just is a statement that you are not running at optimum health.  Being uncomfortable with your weight does not automatically mean that you have low self esteem either, but I feel like you aren't loving yourself enough if you aren't trying to change your situation.  Just like you shouldn't stay in an unhealthy relationship with another person, you shouldn't stay in an unhealthy relationship with food.  Something to think about.  Love yourself...enough to change for the better.  "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." (Psalm 139:14 NIV) That means that we are fearfully and wonderfully made and achieving a healthy weight means that we are trying to maximize the opportunities God wants to give us.  God needs us to be able to go and reach the lost and help those in need and proclaim the good news and that requires we be a good testimony in both our body and our character and spirit.  If anyone reading this is also considering the state of their weight, remember that your self control in the area of food is also a testimony of God's grace because it is the Spirit that give us that temperance.  Get moving, cut those portion sizes (maybe even the meat) and prepare to give God praise for the miracle He wants to do in the body He created!